Best thing you can do? Have her nurse the baby so he/she has a full tummy, take the baby, take her in the bedroom and seriously tuck her in for a nap. Kiss her forehead and tell her you’ll wake her when the baby gets hungry again, and until then she sleeps while you take care of everything, and then do all the things that need to be done around the house.. Seriously. BEST THING EVER.
I’m a mummy – first time to a now 9month old. A lot of these post are true we do need a bit more help around the place and men need to be more patient – we had a few problems post birth which meant no sex for an additional 6 months but seriously women stop moaning – your man needs sex, your kids need a daddy around, pick a day and get it on – just make it happen – you’ll be happier for it and he’ll continue to adore you for
1. having sex with him
2. bearing you children
3. being the most amazing woman in the world to him
and the best part is if the house is a total tip or there’s something else that needs doing but you put out and forget about it chance are he’ll work extra hard to get it all sorted for you or he’ll pay a cleaner = great way to get the house work done in less than an hour
Had my baby, he is 2 months now. I had a level 4 tear and still didn’t wait the allotted 6 weeks for full healing, as soon as I was somewhat comfortable with myself down there it was on… my husband and I had a long talk about the lack of sex and how it made me feel… we are having sex like every other day now because we find time, period. my kid is fed, changed, loved on, played with and he sleeps. 30 minutes to an hour is all it takes. My husband and I share responsibilities around the house, and I still feel like a fat tired blob, but when we are intimate even in the dark I feel better all around! Im a better mommy, wife, and person. Husbands and wives need to get on the same page and give to each other! a 50/50% relationship is a failing one you give 100% for 100% to each other and don’t look back, the kids will be fine because you are a team, the house will be fine because you are a team, and the respect and trust will be amazing because you are giving yourself completely and being taken care of completely.
It’s ALL good Charlie. From my POV (I won’t pretend I know how wifey is feeling), it was quite a while before I could feel a lot “down there”, and I also had a really hard time feeling good about my body (I’m just now only 10lbs off from my goal weight). It slowed me waaaay down in the bedroom. But it’s picking up again..
Just keep giving her attention and ask that she do the same. More and better sex will come!
BTW I shared this with hubby because I think you two are related some how….
Wow, first off I loved this post. Funny, not too graphic and understandable. Your site is humorous and obviously some people commenting aren’t aware of that, I’m sure if you posted this kind of thing without your lovely wifes permission you’d be divorced, dead, or never getting laid again. I love that you two can talk and joke and blog like this. Women all know that after a baby (I just had twins last April), you feel crappy about the extra weight, and people need to realize men can feel the same! Good for you for working out, and I’m sure you have discussed with your wife that you don’t expect her to be back to pre-preg look immediately and that you are working out for you not to make her feel bad…I had that problem with my boyfriend…oh boy is communication key!
Personally I’m all ready to having more sex again but he is the tired busy one, and im like hello kids are asleep, what are you doing? if you want some you have to act like you want it, im not going to jump your stuff and get turned down! haha women need sex too!!
Not sure how I stumbled on this site. I’m not a parent. Laughed at the My Wife Just Said posts, then clicked this… and wow. You look good.
I find it awesome that you worked so hard to make yourself sexually appealing to your wife (well, you did it for you, too.) If I ever get serious with a man, I hope he takes my physical desires so seriously (and yeah, I know; looks aren’t everything.) She seems lucky to have you.
I don’t really have anything constructive to add since I’ve never been pregnant. Except maybe “how to increase libido.” There’s a bunch of natural methods of increasing desire, a lot of which is just common sense advice about increasing overall health, but there’s some specific stuff there, too. I hope your wife’s libido jumps back quickly, cus she has much to look forward to when it does!
Have you asked your wife what her bribing price is? Kidding, but only kind of. I’m a mom, and before baby we had fabulous sex. But now… not just my view, but my physical ability and preferences have changed completely. It took 2 years to figure out how to relax again, how to enjoy myself and NOT think about my child or my to-do list or how fat won’t just melt away or how the other moms seem to have it together but I can’t quite get there or how much I miss the pre-kid spontenaity or how exhausted I am from even just thinking about it all…
My finally asked me, quite literally, what it would take to return to something more than quick, pity sex. I thought about this for a couple days, and found my price, as it were. He knows now, he’s not getting any at all (unless I’m just feeling bad for him) unless he helps to take care of the kid when he gets home, so I can have a few minutes to myself. Bonus points if he washes dishes, cooks dinner, cleans the kid’s room, etc without being asked. All I need is some effort to lighten my load. That, and loud music so my daughter doesn’t hear anything down the hall…
Just ask her.
This is great. I think my husband felt the same way after we had our daughter (she’s 14 mos now). I knew he wanted some action, but I felt completely non-sexual. He was very supportive through the whole thing, much like you, he loved me sooo much and found me so attractive that he wanted some lovin’ way more than what I was interested in. As a mother/wife’s perspective a lot of it had to do with figuring out how to be a mom and how to be that sexy wife.
First off, I felt my body was just not up to MY standards. My hubs could’ve cared less..he found me sexy in every way. I felt like I was a milk machine. I breast fed for 9 mos. My boobs were my daughter’s for the time being – It was weird to think of them as sexual. After, she stopped breastfeeding and my body got back to normal, that’s when I started feeling not only like myself, but as the sexy wife my hubs saw me as.
Now I’m back up to par and it’s really fun to try and get some quick action when my daughter is napping or sleeping. I’m very open with my feelings so I told my husband how I felt and that it had nothing to do with him. I think that made him feel better. It wasn’t that I didn’t find him attractive.. it’s just that I didn’t feel attractive so it turned me off. I think that’s a big difference in men and women. Men see it that if they’re attracted to their mate they don’t care so much how they look, they can get it on whenever, but for women it matters how they view themselves. Hope this helps and hoping you can get it on sometime soon!!
So before pregnancy, we were having sex about 2-3x/day… I would wake up my husband to have sex.
After I got pregnant (totally unintended)… we had sex maybe 1x every 2 weeks? I was so tired being pregnant and working full time.
After our son was born and the 6 weeks were up we’ve gotten into about once a day routine now?
I think it we would be at our old frequency 2-3x a day IF a) he would spend more time just cuddling with me, b) I wasn’t working full time aka I miss my son when I get home and want to spend time with him and c) I felt more attractice– there were some days I felt so unattractive.
OH! and I told my son my chest was off limits considering I was breastfeeding haha.
All in all, kudos to posting this!